by
Published on 08-01-2011 03:05 PM
It is the 2nd Millennium. For more than 2 years the Emperor has sat immobile on the Engagment Throne of the Internet. He is the master of 3DGN by the will of the Dutch, and the master of a thousand raging servers by the will of his inexhaustible Pwn-Stars. He is a monitor glow washed carcass writing invisibly with the power to ruin your shit from the Dark Age of Id. He is the Pwn-Lord of 3DGN for whom a thousand neckbeards are raged every day, so that he may never truly log off.
Yet even in his deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty Dutchmen cross the retard infested miasma of the internet, their way lit by hax and lulz. Troll armies give rage in his name on uncounted worlds. Greatest among his soldiers are OMGus Trollstartes, the Rage Marines, lulz-engineered super-trolls. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Pubbers and countless retarded jobbers, the ever ban-happy Admins and the hax-priests of the Dutcheptus Lulzchanicus. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold of the ever-present threat from Brazilians, scrubs, pub-stars...and worse.
To be a noob in such times it to be one amongst untold thousands. It is to live in the lulziest and and most rage enducing regime imaginable. These are tales of those times. Forget the power of good games and serious teamwork, for so much is a no-skill Call of Duty clone, never to be innovated. Forget the promise of good dev teams and free maps, for in the grim darkness of the far internetz there are only trolls. There is no peace among the tubes, only an eternity of rage-quitting and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting trolls.
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